Dec. 31, 2004 - 14 Hours and Counting...
Dec. 24, 2004 - Mom, do I know someone named "Dad"? Then who the hell is this letter from?
Dec. 10, 2004 - Next time we build a theatre, it'll have twelve thousand screens and a small plane airport!
Dec. 05, 2004 - Ah yes, that time-honored tradition of waiting around for the cops in the rain. Happy Holidays Everyone!
Dec. 04, 2004 - Okay, but I'm not screaming "CUNT!!" at the top of my voice...
Dec. 01, 2004 - I wonder how old my grandma was when she turned into an older relative of hers?
Nov. 25, 2004 - Ho ho ho...crud.
Nov. 21, 2004 - Man, I can't even remember what the entry was about...
Nov. 10, 2004 - As an American citizen, it is my civic duty to bring you this Election Day entry. Sheesh.
Oct. 31, 2004 - As All Hallows creeps closer, I write about the wedding I should've written about a week ago.
Oct. 21, 2004 - If only the priest would've given us some nitrous, the kneeling might not have been so bad...
Oct. 19, 2004 - Introducing Father James T. Kirk! "Our Father ... whoartinHeaven ... hallowed ... be thy name ..."
Oct. 16, 2004 - If you're looking for something depressing, please feel free to continue.
Oct. 15, 2004 - A good time was had by all - somewhere else, I'm sure...
Oct. 07, 2004 - Mortality - what a freakin' downer.
Sept. 20, 2004 - This entry comes to you from deep within a pile of cat hair
Sept. 19, 2004 - Do You Know The Way To Westroads Mall? (No, it's not a song title, I'm really lost!)
Sept. 17, 2004 - Once again, I do something foolhardy in the name of...uh...something...
Sept. 15, 2004 - Revenge is a dish best served quickly, from a distance, with an alibi.
Sept. 12, 2004 - More disjointed than expected
Sept. 11, 2004 - Okay, gimme the gas and no one gets hurt!
Sept. 03, 2004 - Egad, I'm a moron!
Sept. 01, 2004 - Frankly my dear, I don't give a shit...
Aug. 29, 2004 - How many times can one human listen to the Queen of the Damned soundtrack before going on a murderous rampage? Inquiring minds want to barf.
Aug. 27, 2004 - Wow. That guy must be stopped at all costs...
Aug. 23, 2004 - I'll take THE RAPISTS for five thousand, Alex!
Aug. 17, 2004 - Tonight, Music for Mental Patients takes historical reconstruction to a new, much weirder and geekier level! Whee!
Aug. 16, 2004 - "Hi, my name is Malkav the Jester, and I'm an Al-oholic..."
Aug. 13, 2004 - A Bunch of Freaks with No Shame!
Aug. 13, 2004 - ...That I Shall Say Goodnight, Till It Be...Monday, maybe?
Aug. 01, 2004 - Next time, I promise you all naked pictures of friends and strangers.
Jul. 28, 2004 - ...Suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. The cartoon peril was no more.
Jul. 25, 2004 - I'm sorry about the last line. But I just saw Malibu's Most Wanted this morning.
Jul. 20, 2004 - The Return of Malkav's Adventures in Reality! Are you sure about this?
Jul. 17, 2004 - Dear Penthouse Forum; Yeah, it's me again, and you won't believe what happened this week!
Jul. 11, 2004 - First the movie, then the strip Twister, and then the naked Truth or Dare!
Jul. 09, 2004 - Dear Penthouse Forum; This one time, in a sword shop in the mall...
Jul. 04, 2004 - War is hell - and so are holidays.
Jul. 01, 2004 - Warning: The following entry contains themes of a Pagan nature. All close-minded idiots are asked to read someone else's journal.
Jun. 28, 2004 - Some flashy drag queens, a shot of tequila rose, and thou
Jun. 21, 2004 - As it turns out, drugs are good. When they're good drugs.
Jun. 13, 2004 - There's No Business Like Drag Show Business!
Jun. 11, 2004 - And I don't even have a decent gaydar.
Jun. 06, 2004 - This is why we need sex education in computer class...
Jun. 02, 2004 - Introducing a new semi-irregular, nearly existant feature: Malkav's Adventures in Reality!
Jun. 01, 2004 - This is why I'm not really cut out to be a geek.
May. 25, 2004 - One of these days, it's going to rain so much we'll be able to have a hurricane instead of a tornado.
May. 20, 2004 - If you think you've seen pointless entries before, you're probably right.
May. 18, 2004 - And now it's time for a very special episode of Malkav On Movies! Today's features include several movies Malkav has not seen yet.
May. 11, 2004 - Blah blah blah Books! Shrimp! DVD! Shirt! No Pants!...Wait a minute...what?
May. 10, 2004 - Mommy, where do geeks come from?
May. 10, 2004 - Oh great, my birthday found me. I should've hidden under the bed.
May. 07, 2004 - Yes, I watched the last episode. Just like everyone else.
May. 06, 2004 - And they say Chicago is the Windy City. Well, Chicago my ASS!
May. 02, 2004 - Some more about my religion. Please don't burn me at the stake.
May. 01, 2004 - I'm sorry, I can't do that Dave.
Apr. 27, 2004 - It's a beautiful day in the network neighborhood. Won't you be my chat buddy?
Apr. 23, 2004 - I Can't Believe It's Not Internet!
Apr. 18, 2004 - The Passion of the Jester -OR- "Hey Judas, EAT ME!"
Apr. 15, 2004 - Announcing the Return of the Sometimes Corporeal Malkav the Jester's Science Lesson of the Day!
Apr. 11, 2004 - There's something about a guy with really big horns...
Apr. 10, 2004 - Oh yeah. I'm a party animal. Well, the three-toed sloth is an animal...
Apr. 09, 2004 - So, like, you, uh, want some, like, steak sauce with that, or what?
Apr. 08, 2004 - ACting!
Apr. 06, 2004 - Well, it had a point, when I started. Then it became like the Godzilla of entries - rambling along, stepping on buildings, eating people...
Apr. 04, 2004 - Hey, I could've taken a chair. But no, I went with the fork. It fit in my jacket pocket easier.
Apr. 02, 2004 - My subconscious is trying to tell me something. It's trying to tell me I'm a freak.
Apr. 01, 2004 - How about a series detailing my desire for a food processor?
Mar. 30, 2004 - Geek stuff, and that's about it, really.
Mar. 25, 2004 - How many fires does it take to get to the dry and poop-smelling center of Colorado?
Mar. 19, 2004 - Flaming Toilets sounds like a band name
Mar. 16, 2004 - Hm. There appears to be some kind of subject matter present in the atmosphere. It could indicate some sort of rudimentary intelligence. But probably not.
Mar. 12, 2004 - It's about time I wrote another long and pointless entry...or not...
Mar. 10, 2004 - Wow. Kinda pointless, kinda not. Mostly pointless.
Mar. 03, 2004 - Trivia Question: How many subjects are there in this entry?
Mar. 02, 2004 - Here's one about my weekend you won't want to read...
Mar. 01, 2004 - Random updates falling from the sky
Feb. 23, 2004 - Groan...mumble...cough cough cough...Why God, why?
Feb. 21, 2004 - So, you're going to set my country music award on fire?
Feb. 07, 2004 - The Triumphant Return of Music For Mental Patients!
Feb. 06, 2004 - I'm still sick, and have decided to waste still more of everyone's time. Consider this your last warning.
Feb. 05, 2004 - The length (L) of an entry (E) is directly proportionate to the relative pointlessness (PEE!) of the given entry.
Feb. 02, 2004 - It's so unlike me to do two entries so close to each other. I hope no one gets hurt.
Feb. 02, 2004 - I'm not that much of a party animal, but I'm not quite a party person either. I'm the party missing link. And you thought I was under your couch, with Jesus.
Jan. 26, 2004 - Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous design flubs, or to take arms against a sea of errors, and by opposing, end them?
Jan. 25, 2004 - I have the heart and soul of a geek. I keep the heart in a jar in the freezer and the soul in my closet.
Jan. 23, 2004 - And now for something that has a lot to do with computers, and a little to do with movies.
Jan. 19, 2004 - The stunning lack of any sort of point is almost painful in its purity. Or something.
Jan. 17, 2004 - All the best entries have points. This is not one of those.
Jan. 12, 2004 - Chemical imbalance? Would it help if I took LSD?
Jan. 05, 2004 - In Unibrow, they met with a harsh winter, during which time they were forced to eat Sir Robin's dentist.
Jan. 04, 2004 - Pointless Entry. Even more pointless than my usual. Will probably disappear when I write a real entry, with a point. Thank you for your patronage.
Jan. 04, 2004 - When the Partridge Family orders me to do something, I do it. Case in point: "Come on, get happy!"
Jan. 03, 2004 - Wow, what's this weird feeling? It's not depression. It's not anger or resentment or bitterness. It's not angst or even mania. What could it be?
Jan. 01, 2004 - Should all bad parties be forgot? Yes.