May. 10, 2003 - 2:38 p.m.

Today the Countdown of Unimaginable Suffering has come to an end, with the sudden appearance of my actual birthday. Oddly enough, I'm still not depressed about it.

In a way I am, I suppose. But I haven't really been depressed for several days now. I've lost track of how much time has passed since this manic thing started, but it's showing no signs of letting up. This is probably a good thing. You're spared the long, philosophical and highly depressing entry that would normally be here, and the week and a half of the same entries before and after. I'm spared of having to feel so weirdly depressed and philosophical as to write those entries and actually post them. It's a win-win situation.

And so I will go about enjoying the day. I have my window open, and can see what it's going to be like, weather-wise. It's cloudy and looks like it's been raining, and might rain again soon. I like that. Rain and clouds don't make me unhappy. It's slightly darker than one would expect from mid-Spring in the Midwest, and the light has that yellowish quality that signals a storm might be on the way. I like storms.

One reason I like it here better than in Colorado is because we have weather. We have violent thunderstorms in Spring, and tornadoes. I've experienced tornadoes strong enough and close enough to have to take cover, but not very often. Once I spent a couple hours in the basement of a building I worked in, with everyone else who worked in that building. I was a telemarketer at the time. Everyone from my shift had been herded underground by the supervisors, and work was essentially over for the night. Plus, there were other businesses in the building, so I got to hang out with people I'd never seen before. Had to borrow a cell phone from a stranger and call home to let everyone know I was all right.

That was fun. Usually though, a tornado isn't enough to drive me into hiding. If I can look out my window and see the tornado, I might go sit in the closet then. If I took shelter every time the warning guy on television told me to, I'd be in that closet all Spring and Summer.

This Spring though, we seem to be having lots of rain. I'm hoping for flash flooding. I enjoy driving in two feet of water.

Perhaps this is a sign of madness. Finding joy in the more violent, dangerous weather. But I really missed all these things in Colorado, the Home of Dust in the Air and No Humidity.

There might be more later on today, but I can't say for sure. I don't have a snappy ending for this entry. Nothing funny to tack on right here. I'm on my way out, but I wanted to stop in and write down some of the things that have been floating through my brain lately.